Today seems to be dragging soooo much! I spent time with a good friend of mine, Nani and doing her sisters hair, (braids). My babes has been working ALL freaking day long. I just cant wait until she is home and I am wrapped in her arms tonite. It seriously drives me bananas... Anyway, Cycle Day 5...not much to really say today about how I am feeling, however this back pain and my legs are still super sore but hey that is life!
Guys let me be frank here, I AM TERRIFIED! I am so scared to find out that I cannot have kids... =.(
I know that stage 1 of endometriosis does not cause infertility, but...I mean I was stage 1 in 2009, what if it is more advanced now?! What if I will never get to experience what carrying a child is? feeling the kicks, and all the symptoms?!! I know there are always different options to look into BUT I want my own...you know? Just the thought of it all drives me insane. I do my best not thinking about it, however it really does kind of eat me up a little bit.
I am being very optimistic with this entire TRYING TO CONCEIVE but AHHHHHH I just cant help it!!! I want to be able to hold my lil munchkin after spending 192083746 hours in labor...LOL... And I want to give my girl her child! To love and to protect and cherish, to watch grow up into an amazing adult...and have birthdays, and graduation...just our own little family.... I have faith I really do...and please do not think I dont because I do really feel good about it this month, but sometimes...my mind wanders and I get lost in a million thoughts.
Having a support system like you guys has made my strength multiply by a thousand every single day. We receive messages EVERYDAY by INCREDIBLE subscribers and followers and fb friends... It makes this so much easier. Well maybe this is just me today, slightly...writing and venting to you guys makes this a lot better.
BABY DUST!
-NENA
NENA & TOT: STORY OF OUR ANGEL Join Us On Our Journey As We Try To Have A Baby!
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